Ridiculous Seasonal Gift Ideas Courtesy Of Gwyneth Paltrow

If you haven’t heard of Goop, now you have. It’s the lifestyle brand and website owned by none other than Gwyneth Paltrow. You may be asking yourself what the actress knows about lifestyle and if she could offer any smart suggestions for you and your Christmas gift list. But the recent buzz around her selection of Christmas gift ideas, offered on Goop will probably answer that question for you. The suggestions are, in a single word – ridiculous. But then that’s probably the point, hence the title of the list; Ridiculous but Awesome.

Many have jumped to the conclusion that the list is a sign that Miss Paltrow is drastically out of touch with reality. But, given the fact that news of the list is travelling far and wide based on its ridiculousness, these people are probably just out of touch with what viral marketing is. In other words, the list is a joke drummed up to cause a bit of buzz and draw attention to the brand.

Either way, the gift ideas are worth taking a little look at, even if just to have a little chuckle. After all, who doesn’t want a monthly loofah subscription, breakfast with a giraffe, a Hermes surfboard or a clip on bidet? Or any of these other amazing gifts as we’ve outlined below…

A Village In Spain

Yes, you can, this is not a joke, buy an entire village in Spain. In fact, you could buy more than one if it was your desire. It turns out that a number of small villages out in the Spanish countryside have been left entirely abandoned, with the residents moving into more urban areas. One, pointed out by Miss Paltrow, will cost you $172,910. It comes with three houses, water, electricity, a working sewer system, and a bread oven.

If you weren’t convinced, it is mentioned the villages generally offer incredible views. But of course they would, since they’re in the middle of nowhere. So if you weren’t considering buying a loved one a village, now the option is open to you.

A Banana Lamp

Alternatively, if Spanish Villages aren’t up your alley, then perhaps a bronze banana lamp is. Let us paint the picture for you; a bronze sculpture, of a realistically modelled half peeled banana is on sale for $340. It’s also a lamp. There’s more. There are three designs named, wait for it: Huey, Dewey and Louie. Correct, these lamps are named after the little ducks from Disney cartoons. What do bronze bananas have to do with ducks? You’re thinking too hard about this, just accept it.

That these lamps actually exist and are on sale for that price is mind blowing on so many levels. Regardless, Miss Paltrow has put them forward as a fab gift idea, and you shouldn’t ignore the voice of a celebrity.

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Real Gold Rolling Papers

The Goop website suggests that these 24-karat gold rolling papers are ‘totally cool.’ That’s rolling papers for tobacco or other smoking substances, in case you’re not familiar. So yes, you roll tobacco into the gold papers, and smoke them. Because obviously nothing makes a smoke smoother than gold, and we all love watching our money go up in flames!

They’ll cost you $55, so at least are what some might consider affordable as far as Christmas gifts go. On the other hand, why anyone would want to smoke gold really is absolutely beyond us. Did we forget to mention the papers are also listed as being edible as well? Why? Once again, you’re thinking too hard about this.

Bronze Incense Burner

To be fair, this one is pretty cool. A bronze cup that may or may not look like the Holy Grail from The Last Crusade on purpose, this sculpture is an incense burner or candleholder, as you see fit. It comes with a porcelain lid, which fits over the top and turns the candle into a stunning mood setter.

The downside? It costs nearly $1,000.

Oh Miss Paltrow, we suspect you thought this one was genuinely affordable for the average shopper on Christmas…

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