Weird Tech You Never Knew You Needed

In this enlightened age we live in, when anything seems possible, it takes a lot to impress and amaze us jaded technology aficionados. So, here is a list, meant to shock and amaze, and maybe to have you wondering…why? Why would someone invent this, this unnecessary piece of tech that seems to have a very small niche, or very individual use.

I cannot explain the thinking behind these gadgets, but I can show you some weird and wonderful options, and who knows when you would need one of these?

Spartan Radiation Blocking Underwear

In an uncertain world, a man and his manhood must be protected! Spartan recently released smart boxers that will protect your junk from the radio frequencies and the radiation emitted from cell phones – because this is a proven thing that needs protecting against (no, it isn’t). But now you can own a pair of smart shorts with silver fibres woven in to protect your future children!

Massage Me Vest

Massage Me Vest

Video games are so much fun, and let’s be honest its quite often your man sitting with a control in his hands, running over innocent imaginary bystanders in imaginary stolen ambulances. Why not put your man’s hands to better use and try out the Massage Me vest – now your man can control his game using the vest and you get the hands on feeling of a man who is actually interested in touching you!

The Solar Bikini

This one is for the ladies (or men, that’s cool too). If you are interested in green energy and tanning, do we have some tech for you! This summer you can head on down to the beach without the worries of where or how you will be able to charge your mobile – what a relief! The creator of the Solar Bikini, Andrew Schneider is currently working on some swimming shorts for the male of the species – capable of keeping your beer cold too, so I do believe my summer is sorted!

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LCD Belt Buckle

Look, people should be staring at your crotch all day – naturally, but if they are not (strange), this tech is for you! The LCD Belt Buckle (currently out of stock!) plays movies right over your crotch in various files (from .mp4 to .jpg) stored on an SD card, making you attractive to all people who love movies! Maybe wait for the second-generation LCD Belt Buckle, which promises a larger screen (more crotch coverage) and more capabilities.

Where HAS this been all my life?

Quirky Egg Minder

Quirky Egg Minder
Source: YouTube

I am not going to lie, I currently have 6 eggs in my fridge – and I am entirely unsure how old they are. So maybe an egg tray that connects to the Internet, syncs to your mobile and lets you know which eggs are going to expire – makes some sort of weird sense?

But maybe this is just an eggception to the weird gadget list, as I happen to have old eggs in my fridge?

Is it worth $13 though?

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